The Andersonstown News, a West Belfast republican mouthpiece rag, have today audaciously exposed the under performance of the long standing IRA MP for West Belfast the rt Hon Gerry Adams (brother of alleged kiddy fiddler Liam Adams).
In a damning front page exclusive (pictured below) they have bravely exposed his under performance as an MP over the past 27+ years by exposing the comparatively paltry grant assisted funding secured by him for his electorate from Invest NI against the several billion pounds secured by wronged victim of adultery the blessed Peter (I saved the Glens, I did) Robinson.
When asked to comment on the breaking story and the allegations of his abject failure to secure adequate funding for his electorate and the West Belfast constituency the IRA hunger striker betraying, army council membership denying MP said he was intent on fighting the March 11th elections in the republic which roughly translates in laypersons terms as “Fuck away off, I’m resigning to go and stand for election in Louth which is much closer to several of my holiday houses in the free state “.
Unconfirmed reports suggested that several Palestinian babies were heard simpering in the background.
Hooray to our sister publication the Andersonstown News for breaking this story. No doubt an editorial retraction, both written and approved by the IRA MP, will appear in a future edition.